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GOLDEN OLDIE - BOXING DAY MATCH
It has been officially confirmed, that in order to avoid confusion this year, the Golden Oldie Boxing Day match will take place on St Stephen's Day.
The Teams: St Stephen's Martyrs versus The Boxer Rebels - Kick Off 1.00pm
The official tempo of the game has been set at a 'Moderate Turkey Trot'.
Participants are reminded that potential weapons such as Turkey drumsticks, claws, beaks and in particular sharpened wishbones - that were used with such devastating effect last year - may, depending of the humour of the match committee, be confiscated. In any event, the usual slapping, biting and eye gouging will probably be overlooked.
Players are reminded to make an effort to attend before 3.00 pm bearing in mind that the match officially kicks off at 1.00 pm. Kick Off was set at that time in the hope the the players will be togged out and ready to go before they wake up and realize their foolishness.
Please remember that in order to avoid any embarrassment with loose appendages and dangly bits (we all remember Blackies little problem last year), Susan and Pauline have been asked to oversee trussing arrangements. A little bit of common sense is all thats usually required.
McSneddy, ever the Galloglass mercenary, has agreed to hire himself out to the highest bidder. "Forget Bannockburn" he says "Remember its a Double Dark Rum and Coke"
Emmett will of course Captain one of the unfortunate teams. We all remember his fearsome pre match speeches. For anyone who has forgotten, here is last years -and the years before:
'We didn't f@@k**g come out f@@k**g here to f@@k**g get beaten by this f@@k**g bunch of f@@k**g w@@nkers. Lets get f@@k**g stuck f@@k**g in and f@@k**g beat the f@@k**g sh**te out of the f@@k**g F@@kers.
Repeat ten times and you have the gist of it.
Paul'The Man Who'Kearney is looking for his Number 10 shirt and asked that the f@@king w@@kers (its infectious) who stole it should return it immediately as he needs it for Boxing Day. Who could have done such a thing?
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